How long could you stand to look at someone directly in the eyes before needing to look away? There are those that cannot stand locking eyes with anyone for more than a second, and then there are others who could be the last to turn away. Many of us fall between the two. It seems that there are unspoken rules about the duration of looking into another’s eyes before glancing elsewhere. If we break it down, the ease we feel with eye contact originates from the comfort within ourselves.
The longer someone’s eyes linger in our direction, the more vulnerable or intimidated we may feel. A long gaze could threaten exposure of any insecurities that we hide under the face we show the world. Unearthing the reasons for our reactions will teach us how to grow in our own power. Recognizing and actively working through our insecurities eventually allows us to gain more confidence because the emphasis is on self-worth, forgiveness and honoring who we are.
How we feel about ourselves always matters. Directing some of our compassion and love inward will improve all of our interactions with others. By enhancing self-value through time and attention, we will soon find ourselves confidently smiling back in a long and comfortable gaze.
Action:
What do you feel when someone stares at you? Is there embarrassment, shame or anger? Though it may not seem obvious, an important question to ask yourself is: Do I love myself? Stand in front of a mirror staring into your own eyes for five minutes. Allow yourself to smile and tell yourself “I love you.” Watch what emotions arise. Continue internalizing messages of forgiveness and acceptance to that person you see. Afterward, examine if it was comfortable or awkward and why. If there was any discomfort, continue to do this exercise daily. This practice creates a new level of awareness of yourself and opens the door to meaningful connections with others, even if they are brief.
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