The Words We Speak

Whether through writing or speaking, we all have experienced times of miscommunication. Sometimes what we want to say and how it’s delivered don’t match. A misunderstanding can be further impacted when our speech is accompanied by feelings of anger, hurt and fear. Regulating our mood and intent while expressing our truth will allow us to be confident in our words long after they have been said.

We don’t always know how our message will be received. Each person’s life experience creates their own unique filter, and one statement can cause very different reactions in many individuals. The one true control we have is how we handle ourselves in what we do and say. Sometimes our own heightened feelings have the potential of clouding our judgment and effective communication can be a challenge. On these occasions we can benefit by pausing before we speak and taking some breaths to inhale calm and exhale tension. This delay allows us to approach the conversation with a deeper awareness of our current state and the effect our next words can have on the recipient.

Our emotions and intentions affect what we say. Pausing to choose our words wisely helps us come from a place of respect, truth and honesty, and we have a better chance of delivering our message more effectively. Then, no matter how it is received, we can walk away from an exchange with confidence.

Action:
Imagine you have a mental checklist that pops up just before you begin a conversation. Ask yourself these questions: How am I feeling in this current moment? Do I truly believe what I’m about to say? How do I want all parties to feel after this discussion? Am I in a reasonable state of mind to express my truth right now? Practice being aware of your present emotions and acknowledge them. No doubt a pause can be difficult, especially during a heated exchange, but it can make a big difference. It offers time to take a deep breath, collect the thoughts and settle the nerves. Even informing the listener you need a moment to regroup can help diffuse intense emotions. Sometimes that’s easier said than done when feelings are riled up. However, the chances of saying something heartfelt instead of reactionary increases when we come from a place of balance.

Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash